


let's take time

by umiwomitai



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Attempt at Humor, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Getting to Know Each Other, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-11-26 19:22:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20935439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/umiwomitai/pseuds/umiwomitai
Summary: Kun doesn't know if what annoys him about having a clumsy soulmate is being covered in bruises or having Kunhang, his cousin, make up crazy theories about who is could be and how they manage to hurt themselves so much while still being alive.Turns out, what annoys him the most is not being able to stop worrying about this person.





	let's take time

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my submission for the following prompt: "soulmate au where sudden bruises and scars on your body comes from whatever happened to your soulmate. person A is an athlete in a considerably rough sport and is just generally reckless, person B is his soulmate and is increasingly worried with the number of bruises and scars that keep showing"  
I did my best trying to stick to it, I hope the prompter will like it! And to anyone else reading, I hope you enjoy it too!

“It will be yet another rainy day for most of the country, while-”

With a sigh, Kunhang turns off the tv and lets his arm drop back to the floor. He can clearly hear the rain splatter against the windows, filling the silence that has fallen over the apartment. In the room next to the living room, his cousin is still napping and he’s been alone for more than an hour now, bored out of his mind. 

None of his friends are available to hang out, and it’s not like he’s very free himself. He has to train for his upcoming competition, but it’s hard to focus when he’s not in the mood. Lately, his favourite distraction has been wondering about Kun’s soulmate. 

The thing is, Kunhang’s own soulmate is either dead already, or extra careful because the only bruises or cuts that appear on his skin are his. He’s bored to death waiting for a sign to appear, so he’s taken a liking in spying on everything Kun does so he can count how many new bruises have appeared and then have fun trying to make up who his soulmate could be. Because whoever they are, they are one hell of a danger to themselves.

Kunhang has stopped trying to count how many times Kun has complained (or more like, worried) about the behaviour of his soulmate, and it has reached the point where he even gets worried himself. Whoever they are, Kunhang hopes they are ready to face Kun’s wrath, because he knows way too well how scary he can get. He gets angry at all the theories Kunhang makes up but it’s way too funny to make him want to stop, no matter how scary his cousin is. 

“Kunhang, what are you doing lying on the floor?”

Hearing his name, he leans on his elbows and turns around to smile at Kun, but his smile immediately turns into shock. 

“Oh fuck, Kun!”

“Don’t swear.”

“Ok, sorry, but have you seen yourself?”

The bruises appear regularly, with a small delay from what Kunhang read during his long and boring summer afternoons, and for Kun they tend to appear in the evening, which corresponds to his usual nap time. Today, however, Kun’s chest is almost entirely covered in bruises, scratches, and scars and judging by his cousin’s terrified face, he hadn’t seen himself.

“Fucking hell, what is this moron doing again?!”

“Don’t swear,” Kunhang nags in a sing-song voice, barely escaping from the couch cushion Kun throws at him.

“Whatever… I’ll go take a shower, so take your lunch and I’ll drop you off.”

Kunhang complies, retreating to his bedroom to take his training clothes and then going to the kitchen to make himself a sandwich. Kun is still in the living room, ironing his working clothes, so he decides to jump on the occasion and share his latest theory.

“About your soulmate, you know, I think I’ve found an explanation.”

“Please don’t.”

“Listen, how about they’re a firefighter? It makes sense! All the bruises and the scratches, it’s because they’re risking their life everyday. How cool is that?”

“It’s not. It’s stupid and ridiculous, and they’re probably just stupid and clumsy”, Kun deadpans before turning off the iron and leaving for the bathroom with his shirt in his hands.

“Not fun…” 

* * *

  
  


It’s not like he hates his soulmate. 

It’s hard to hate someone he doesn’t know, just like it’s hard to love someone just because they’re supposed to be your destiny. He’s just exhausted of constantly having to explain that no, he’s not clumsy, and no, he’s not being mistreated by his cousin, he just has a stupid soulmate who apparently doesn’t know how to navigate properly with their own body. Which, obviously, makes it hard for him because he’s constantly torn between wanting to deck them in the face and locking them in his room so he never has to worry about them getting hurt ever again.

As if being in charge of his teenage cousin wasn’t already nerve racking enough. 

He drops Kunhang off in front of the gymnasium and, after a wave, drives himself to work. He hates having to work the evening shifts because it means he can’t pick Kunhang up, but at least he isn’t really alone since others gymnasts keep him company or even walk him home. 

Kunhang has been living with him for the past year, since he got into a prestigious school and can train with a good team but his parents live too far. It’s practical for everyone, since he was looking for a new roommate, loves his rather insufferable cousin, and Kunhang’s parents couldn’t afford to move the whole family across the country for this. It would be the perfect deal, if only Kunhang wasn’t so interested in finding out who his soulmate could be.

Kun cares, of course. He’s always been a little curious, he has to admit it, but he’s not sure he’s ready to face the consequences. His soulmate is obviously either reckless or stupid, or both, and he already has enough on his plate with Kunhang being an athlete who likes to run around without looking where he’s going to have someone else to take care of. 

Yet, he has to say that the more time passes, the more he’s worried about this person. His body is almost constantly covered in bruises and other marks that must be awfully painful, and while he’s glad only the marks appear on his own body and he doesn’t feel any pain from them, he also stays up late at night worrying about how his soulmate is able to sleep peacefully with a body like this. 

He sighs once more seeing his chest in the mirror as he changes into his work clothes, and closes his locker with despair. He’d worry about this later. 

* * *

  
  


“So yeah, that’s what she said.”

“It doesn’t make any sense.”

“I know! But she won’t budge.”

“Ugh, I hate her,” Kunhang mumbles as he spots his cousin’s car at the end of the street. “They’re here.”

“Doyoung’s with him?” his friend asks, following while looking through his backpack to get his phone. They are not allowed to take them out inside the school so he always takes it as soon as they pass the gates.

“Probably.” 

They arrive near the car and get in, dropping their respective bags at their feet. Doyoung is sitting at the front, scrolling through his phone to find the perfect song to put on, while Kun is on the phone next to them. He motions for them to stay quiet and buckle their belts while he finishes. Once he’s done, he hangs up and starts the car. 

“How was your day?”

Both teens groan and slump in their seat, making Kun rolls his eyes. The music is drowning the ambient sounds of traffic around them and Kunhang lets his head rest on his friend’s shoulder. From the front of the car, Doyoung is looking at them through the mirror. He can’t help the smile that blooms on his face.

“Are we getting cake today, Doyoung?”

“Kun said no, because-”

“Because of the competition,” both boys mumble while looking at each other, disappointed. “We know…” Kunhang sighs, patting Yangyang’s leg in mock comfort. 

“Do well and I’ll buy you an entire cake,” Doyoung comforts them, smiling at their reaction. 

“I always do well.” 

Kun laughs along and decides to make a detour by the park so they can have fun and pets all the dogs they want to. It feels a little odd, a little melancholic, to sit there on a bench next to Doyoung while having to watch the two teenagers playing with an enormous dog and its owner. 

Welcoming Kunhang in his apartment had been easy. Not so much for his life. It has required lots of change, which he isn’t quite fond of, and many hours spent on the phone or filling up papers trying to set up formalities. It’s more worries and headaches trying to make his schedule match the long hours of training Kunhang needs to attend. It’s more excuses made up when he arrives late at work or has to leave earlier. It’s more laundry to take care of because Kunhang can’t be trusted with a washing machine. 

It’s also more friendship, love, respect and admiration. It’s happy memories and pride filling up his lungs when Kunhang wins. It’s laughing until the end of the night and eating better meals. It’s taking care of himself so his cousin doesn’t look at him with worry in his eyes. It’s spending more time with Doyoung because he has decided both Kunhang and Yangyang were his responsibility. It’s jokes and sideway glances full of mischief when they notice a new bruise on him. 

He sighs, a smile on his lips, stopping his thoughts from escaping too far. It’s getting a little late, and if he wants to make it to work on time, he has to go get his two favourite idiots back in the car quickly. He gets up from the bench, yelling at them to come back. He feels Doyoung’s hand pull up the side of his shirt but doesn’t flinch, now very much used to his friends (and cousin, mostly) being too nosy. 

“This looks very bad. Yours?”

“Of course not.”

Doyoung snorts, looking up from his phone to follow him to the car. Yangyang is leaning on it, catching his breath and laughing at a pouting Kunhang who has apparently lost their race to the car. 

“That guy must be hurting everywhere.”

“Good. This way, he’ll end up feeling sorry for me and for himself.”

“As if you weren’t crazy worried about him…” Doyoung gets into the car and makes sure the kids are caught up in their own conversation before looking straight ahead. “You look very tired lately, you know that?”

“Yes.” Kun sighs, and despite knowing there’s no use in lying to his friend, excuses are still the first things that come to mind. Instead, he chooses the truth. “Yeah, well, I am. Work is stressful with the new trainee, and there is Kunhang’s competition coming up so I’m taking care of his chores so he can focus. I never thought it would be so hard to take care of him, you know…”

He puts the conversation on hold when they reach the gymnasium, making sure Kunhang and Yangyang have everything they need before going back to the car. Inside, it’s gotten a little too stuffy, so he rolls down a window, and then unties his tie just a bit. It’s still stuffy, so he ignores it. 

Doyoung doesn’t. 

“Tell me what’s wrong.”

Oh, if only he could.

He would love to sit down on Doyoung’s comfortable expensive couch, a mug of hot tea in his hand, and cry for hours to relieve the stress while his friend holds him and tells him it’s ok. He would love to simply let it all out, get it out of his system, so he doesn’t have to think or worry about anything at all, ever again. He would love to just put his life on hold, pause it like a video game, and take a break knowing he can still go back to it and it will be waiting for him to be ready and rested. 

It’s impossible, and it’s probably why he’d love it so much. 

Instead, he has to drown in his thoughts and problems and worries and hope he will be able to catch his breath soon. Letting everything out doesn’t mean he won’t think about it anymore, but after shooting a glance at Doyoung, he assumes he can at least share a bit of his burden. Just to feel lighter, for a moment, even if he feels selfish for it. 

“This guy, my soulmate… I don’t know him, you know, and I don’t really think there’s any mystical or wonderful connection between us. Hell, if there was one, I would have annoyed this bastard out of his mind already. But I can’t help myself, I keep wondering about him. Stupid things,” he mumbles almost ashamed, “like, has he eaten his breakfast yet? Does he skip meals sometimes? Does this one bruise hurt as much as the one below my knee? Does he ever lay awake in his bed at night and wonder about me? I…” 

The silence falls upon them, the car long parked behind the restaurant. It’s not stuffy, it’s not smothering. It’s not anything at all, actually, except the usual silence that comes from two people sitting in a car and not talking. Kun hates it for this exact reason. He never gets lost in his thoughts, and he always knows what to say, when to say it. He’s good with words, but somehow he’s managed to make himself speechless. 

“I just can’t help it. At first it was nice, you know? To have something to wonder about when I needed it. I could imagine whatever I wanted about him. Now every thought turns into something more awful and worrying than the previous one and I can’t stop it from getting out of hands. I wish I could just… reach out.”

“You need to make it stop. It’s driving you insane, Kun,” and God does he hate the amount of concern in his voice. 

“I know, but… It’s the same with Kunhang, you know, and I think having him at home is what started making it worse; worrying has turned into a habit. Now every time I come home I need to make sure he’s lying asleep in his bed or I won’t be able to sleep. Oh god, I sound like my mom,” he groans, hitting his head slowly on the steering wheel. “Am I becoming my mom?” 

“Dude, I sure hope you aren’t,” and his tone is so funny they both start laughing instantly, pushing some weight off of Kun’s shoulders. “Let me just tell you, as long as you get new bruises, it means your guy is alive, alright? Start worrying the day you don’t get any.”

Kun loves this way of thinking so much that that night, standing in the doorway of Kunhang’s room to make sure he’s sound asleep, he notices a new bruises on his arm and smiles at it. 

* * *

  
  


Without realising, it somehow falls into place for everyone that Kun’s soulmate is a boy. 

Kun starts talking about his soulmate as if he knew it, for sure, and Kunhang just tags along, not thinking much of it. With some time, whenever someone asks about his soulmate they just assume Kun knows it’s a boy and they pretend they do too. It’s doesn’t bother anyone, until one day, when Kun and Doyoung are preparing snacks for the competition the next day, Doyoung brings it up.

“Like, one day you’re all careful about being inclusive and then the next day, Kunhang is talking about  _ him  _ as if he’s met him or something, and so do you.” 

“I… hadn’t really noticed.”

Doyoung rolls his eyes, putting another piece of kimbap in a takeaway box before closing it. He takes a pen and labels it with Yangyang’s name, leaving a cute drawing of a star next to it. Kun is drying his hands, watching him put the last box in the fridge. 

“It’s more like I hope it’s a boy. I don’t know how I’d feel about having a girl as a soulmate.”

“Please, Kun, we all know how you’d feel about it.”

Kun frowns, but he has to admit that his friend is right. They all know he’s never been attracted to girls, and in theory, this whole soulmate system is supposed to be well thought-out and everything but there’s always a small doubt that lingers. A little what-if that annoys him and make him fear, just a bit, meeting his soulmate for the first time. 

So maybe deep down he’s sure of it, or maybe he’s just trying to reassure himself that this fated day won’t be a complete disaster. It doesn’t really matter, does it?

“I guess I  _ am  _ scared,” Kun admits in a breath. 

Doyoung stays standing at a distance, looking at him with comfort in his eyes and a thousand words he’s dying to say but he doesn’t speak, doesn’t talk; lets Kun take the time to gather his courage or just give in. 

“It’s just… If it’s a  _ her,  _ then… Oh it’s so stupid.”

“It’s not. You shouldn’t have to put aside your sexual orientation for your soulmate, no matter how long you’ve been wanting to meet them.”

Kun frowns more, weirded out by Doyoung’s way of putting it, but once again he’s not wrong. He never is. 

“You’re aware platonic soulmates are a thing, right?”

“Right…” 

What Kun doesn’t say is that, whoever his soulmate really is, he’s not entirely sure his actual feelings are confined in the space allowed by “platonic”, no matter how wide. He’s not afraid of realising his soulmate is a girl, because he has no issues with that. He could work around it, or… he could have, a few months ago. Before his feelings got in the way and he started daydreaming about this fated person, about this complete moron who has hurt themselves more than should be allowed, about this bloody idiot who keeps him up at night wondering if they’re fast asleep or dreaming about him too. 

What Kun doesn’t say is a bit of the truth, but for once he just wants to keep it to himself, to have this bit of information just between him and his midnight thoughts. For once, he wants to keep it untouched and as pure as possible. For once, he finds that keeping things to himself can really be the best solution. 

* * *

  
  


The competition has come faster than he’d realised, with how busy he’s been at work and Kunhang’s been with training. It doesn’t mean that he’s not ready, but for some reason, he’s feeling way more antsy and anxious about attending than he should be. In the car, when they’re unpacking the food they have to bring to the boys, he feels his hands start to shake. 

“What are you so stressed about, Kunnie? That’s just a regular competition.”

“I know. I don’t know why I’m like this, it’s annoying.”

Kun stays frowning the whole time they have to walk and look for the boys, but manages to hide it once they find them. They talk a lot and help cover the noise of Kun’s inner thoughts, which he’s thankful for. They decide to sit down together at one of the tables set up for the participants, so they can eat and talk at the same time. 

“Competition looks tough this time, honestly.”

“Oh yeah, there is this group of guys? They’re impressive!” Yangyang manages to say through a mouthful of rice.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full, Yangie.”

The young boy apologises, but starts again as soon as Kunhang cracks a joke. They’re back to their cheerful banter, so Kun gets up to refill their water bottles. He sighs, looking at the water filling, hand playing with his own hair. He hates the way he’s feeling, even more since he can’t understand why. It’s here, somewhere, he just doesn’t seem to be able to pinpoint it accurately. It’s even more annoying, and when he walks back to their table, he’s even angrier than he was before. 

“Oh, Kun! You missed the new guy.”

“Who?” 

“You know, the new guy in our team? The one who’s gonna transfer after the competition?” Kunhang ads, looking at him with worry.

“Oh yes, sorry, of course. He was here?”

“Yeah, he came to say hello, but he had to leave again since he’s the first participant.”

“He looks nice,” Doyoung comments to try and ease the atmosphere. In vain. 

“Yeah… he is. I think he’s from Hong Kong or something.”

“Great for him,” Kun mumbles, putting away the empty boxes. “Well,” he says, standing up, “we’re gonna go and find seats, alright? I’m sure you’ll do well, boys.”

Kunhang and Yangyang stand up too, hug them, and then head for the locker rooms to get changed for the competition. Doyoung is looking at him when he turns around, eyes too cold for him to read, so he just shrugs and tries to ignore the guilt creeping up on him. He takes their bags and follows his friend to the seats. 

* * *

  
  


The competition goes as usual. They watch every participants, make sure to film both Kunhang and Yangyang (even though Yangyang’s parents have arrived on time to watch him), and then wait for the big room to clear out of people to go look for their kids. They find Yangyang first, who jumps in Kun’s arms, and he gladly hugs him back. He takes it in, the warmth of the boy’s body against his, his breath in his neck as he talks to Doyoung, his hands holding on tightly, and he realises he probably just needed this. The familiarity and warmth that comes with hugging people he loves. 

He untangles Yangyang from him, putting him back on his feet, just as Kunhang spots them and runs towards them. Kun doesn’t wait for him to stop to hug him, patting his head as he congratulates him. He ranked first, after all. 

“Haha, thanks Kun! Did you see how surprised the judges were?! I’m so happy!”

“Yes, I saw it all sweetheart, you did amazing. You worked so hard, it always pays off. I’m very proud.” 

Kunhang laughs, proud of himself to, and waves at his coach when he notices her. She comes over to congratulate them both, and talk a little with Kun. He’s so caught up in the conversation that he barely catches on Kunhang disappearing for a second and coming back with a giant boy tagging along. 

“Oh, Yukhei it’s you. Come here, boy.”

Kun turns to see the boy, who must be their new addition to the team. He noticed him a little during the competition, but he’d had to take a bathroom break at this moment he didn’t see him perform much. From here, he looks a lot taller and more smiley than he seemed from afar. 

“Hello, coach.” He bends politely to her, and then to Kun and Doyoung, who greet him just the same. “I’m really happy to be welcomed into the team,” and Kun notices the small accent and the slur in his words that reminds him of Kunhang at first. A foreigner. 

“We thought it would be nice for you, both Yangyang and Kunhang here are foreigners, so you won’t feel too left out.” 

Yukhei’s eyes seem to light up as he understands, and his face is almost blindingly happy. Damn, who even is this guy? Kun keeps looking at him, feeling out of this world for a second. For a second, or more, since Doyoung elbows him to bring him back down to earth. 

“Yeah?” 

“The boy’s just asked you something, Kun.” He hates the proud smile he wears. 

“Oh sorry, I was in the clouds. What was it again?” he asks Yukhei, who blushes the second their eyes meet. 

“Ugh, I’m… I…” 

Kunhang interrupts him, probably taking pity at how he’s struggling with his words, and answers Kun’s sentence in Chinese. 

“He just introduced himself to you, since he didn’t see you earlier.”

“You speak Chinese too?” Yukhei all but screeches out, then feeling embarrassed at his outburst. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Kun reassures him with a smile, which doesn’t seem to improve anything. “I’m Kunhang’s cousin, he lives with me, so yes I speak Chinese. I’m Kun, nice to meet you.”

Yukhei seems a little starstruck for a moment, not moving or speaking, and everyone else is just looking at him, then at each other, wondering if someone cast a spell on him or if he’s simply too dumb to react. Yangyang sighs and then just takes him by the arm.

“We’re gonna take a shower and get changed, we’ll be back soon!”

Kunhang waves at them, and Doyoung waves back, smile full of teeth, which Kun finds down right disturbing but he doesn’t mention it in front of the coach.

“Aaah, that kid… He’s a talented fella, but a clumsy one too,” she groans, eyebrows knit tight. 

“He did seem like it, he almost tripped on his feet three times just on his way to the locker room earlier. I’m surprised he’s so good once he’s performing.”

“Oh damn, me too. Me too…” 

The coach seems lost in her thoughts, until another parent comes to talk to her, so Doyoung and Kun stay aside, talking to each other. They’re deciding on who will take the bags to the car and who will stay there and wait for the boys when Yangyang, half naked and hair still dripping wet, comes running towards them, yelling Kun’s name.

“Kun! You have to come! Quick!”

He grabs him by the arm, just the way he did with Yukhei a few minutes ago, so Doyoung sighs. 

“Go, I’ll take the bags back to the car.”

Kun follows, barely matching Yangyang’s speed and, surprisingly, enthusiasm.

“Come on!” he presses him. 

“Yangyang, please, I can’t keep up. What is so important?”

“You’ll see!” 

What Kun can see, mostly, is that Yangyang is barely holding himself from crying out loud, and is taking him to the locker room, full of half or totally naked boys, looking at him as if Yangyang has just brought back a three eyed monster. He apologises quickly, as best as he can considering Yangyang is still pulling his arm. He stops near the showers, putting both his hands on his shoulders and pushing him forward.

There, standing in the middle of the showers, are Kunhang and Yukhei, who looks mostly worried and distraught. Kun wants to nag them, because what the hell are they doing to the poor new boy? But he stops himself mid-sentence, looking at Yukhei  _ properly _ this time. 

And it just hits him.

Hard. Like a freight train running him over, or Mount Everest falling on his ribcage. Like his lungs have been pulled out of him or his heart is swallowing all of his organs. Like his head is in the moon and the rest of his body is pressed down on Earth by gravity but they’re still attached together.

Standing in front of him, Yukhei is trying to cover his body as much as he can with his small towel, but he can’t hide all the bruises. Especially since Kun  _ knows  _ them, knows them so well, and knows where to look. His body is washed over by a wave of worry, or something similar, he isn’t sure anymore. All he knows is that he wants to hug Yukhei and put his head on his shoulder and tell him it will be ok, he’s ok now. 

He almost does it, stepping forward and putting his hands on Yukhei arms, but Yukhei doesn’t let him. He pushes him away a little, hands still on his arms but barely holding. They’re just there, just as Kun is simply standing here, looking at this frightened boy. 

What hits him then is a different kind of realisation, one that makes him scared. Yukhei is a  _ boy _ , just a boy, younger and terrified and probably not ready yet to meet him. Kun realises, bitterly, that he’s been ready for a long time now, has prepared himself for this moment, but that doesn’t mean that Yukhei has done the same. 

So he lets him take his time, just watches him, eyes lost in his. They are so beautiful, his eyes, so big and shiny, and Kun feels a little too naked looking at him. Even if Yukhei is the naked one here. He doesn’t know when Yangyang and Kunhang leave them, or when they bring Yukhei a second towel, a bigger one, so he can wrap himself in it, but he watches him do it; lets his hands fall back to his sides and just stands there. 

How beautiful he is, it almost makes him cry. He scoffs at his own thoughts, looking down at the floor, which apparently does the trick for Yukhei.

“What’s funny?”

“I was thinking about how beautiful you are,” Kun laughs a little answering this, internally cringing at how cheesy it sounds. But Yukhei blushes, even more than earlier, so he decides that speaking his thoughts bluntly from time to time isn’t too bad. 

“Am not…” Yukhei mumbles, before taking a long breath. His fingers are gripping at the sides of his towel. “So, we’re soulmates?”

“Looks like it,” and Kun makes sure he’s as gentle as possible. 

“I never thought it would happen so fast.”

“Really?” he says tentatively, and Yukhei smiles. Good. 

“Yeah, it’s…” 

“Sudden?”

“Hm, not really. Overwhelming, a little. But in a good way, you know? I just… I never thought it’d be this easy. I arrived two weeks ago, barely had time to settle, and here you are.” 

Kun feels that Yukhei wants to say more, talk more, and his hands are getting all jittery, so he smiles gently at him. It’s not the right place for them to have this conversation. 

“How about you get dressed and then we’ll talk, alright?”

“Hm, yeah, yeah, that’s probably a better idea.” 

* * *

  
  


That night, they don’t talk much in the end. 

They only introduce themselves to the other properly once more, exchanging numbers and promising to meet up soon, and it’s not much really, but it’s enough for them both. Or at least, Kun hopes it is for Yukhei, because he knows for sure that he falls asleep to the memory of Yukhei waving him goodbye, hopping into the last bus. 

The next morning comes, and it feels normal. 

It’s silly, but Kun can’t help noticing how everything is just like before, in place. His alarm wakes him up at the same hour, he wakes Kunhang up himself before taking a shower, the eggs are still waiting for him in the fridge. His routine is set just the same, and even this doesn’t make him feel any sort of way. It doesn’t feel especially bad, it doesn’t feel particularly good either. It’s here, like it’s always been. 

He doesn’t know why he notices it, then. 

Looking at Kunhang eating his breakfast while scrolling through his phone and laughing like an idiot every two seconds, he thinks that if nothing has changed around him, he’s probably the one that feels changed. He smiles at how lighter he feels, at how good he feels, now that life isn’t weighing on him anymore. For the first time in a long time, he’s looking forward to discovering new things and not simply going along with the flow. It fills him with a new strength, a new positivity he had somehow lost along the way.

He can now only hope Yukhei will welcoming just the same. 

* * *

  
  


Getting to know Yukhei makes him realise three things.

First of all, he  _ really  _ needs to stop worrying at every little thing. He’s pretty sure now that Doyoung is right, after all - because he  _ always  _ is - and that if he goes down this road, he’ll die of heart attack at 29 while worrying for the umpteenth time about whether Yukhei has arrived home safe or not. 

Second of all, when was the last time he took some time for himself to go out and have fun? He can actually answer this question, unless he has to take out all the times he went out with Doyoung. Then he doesn’t know, and that is a little worrying, but also makes meeting with Yukhei feel so much better. In all honesty, the boy’s quite a handful. He’s overwhelming and loud and all over the place, but it makes Kun feel more alive. He doesn’t worry about Yukhei’s clumsiness, now he mostly laughs at him. He doesn’t roll his eyes at his antics, he plays along and jokes with him. He allows himself to be just Kun, the young boy, and not just the worried cousin. It’s nice. It’s lovely. It’s addictive. 

Third of all, falling in love is fucking easy. Falling for Yukhei is even more. They don’t see each other much, with Yukhei trying to fit into the team and his new school and his new house, and Kun being busy with work and taking care of Kunhang. They make it work, picking him up to spend 10 minutes together before training, or calling each other when Kun is done with work and laying in his bed. They find time but don’t force it, and their relationship looks like it’s building itself, slowly but surely, and just as surely Kun sees himself fall for the boy.

Feels himself fall for his soulmate.

_ Lets  _ himself fall for Yukhei, just as easy as it sounds. 

It is scary, a little, just like it was before. But now he knows who is in front of him, and it’s someone just as eager as him to make it work, to make a “we” work, and hopefully just as in love. 

Kun doesn’t say it out loud until after a few months, when they’re out celebrating Yukhei’s birthday. Doyoung and him have decided to take the kids to the arcade, because the three of them have been annoying them about it for weeks now, and then Kun has taken his evening off so he can have a nice dinner date at home with Yukhei, just the two of them. Kunhang is even more thrilled that it means he will sleepover at Yangyang’s, which they don’t get to do much lately. 

Everyone is happily enjoying the afternoon, eating some snacks Doyoung bought them and playing on whatever game they want. Kun is seating at their booth, resting for a moment after having lost for the 8th time against Yangyang at some fighting game he doesn’t know the controls for. Doyoung is coming back from the bathroom and smiles at him, not sitting down but leaning against the table. 

“It’s nice, how Yukhei has settled in our little group so easily.”

“Hm. Thank you for welcoming him.”

“Oh, no need. He’s really lovely,” and Kun knows that he means it. 

“I know,” he whispers mostly for himself, but there must be something in his voice because Doyoung turns to him and looks at him with his intrigued eyes. “What?”

“What? I didn’t say anything.”

“Ah,” Kun scoffs, “you don’t need to.”

Doyoung turns back around, watching the kids taking turns at some shooting game to try and beat the high score. 

“How is it, with Yukhei?”

“Nice. Really,” Kuns presses when his best friend doesn’t seem to believe him. “What more do you want me to say?”

“You know that perfectly well.” 

“Doyoung, stop worrying. And don’t try to pretend that you’re not, I know you alright? Yes, I am in love with him, and yes, I know that being his soulmate doesn’t guarantee he’ll love me too, but I want to try. I already feel so happy like this, I don’t care whether he loves me back or not, honestly.”

The other man looks down at him for a long moment, gaze moving all over him and trying to weigh him down. They both stay silent for even longer, until Doyoung deems he’s satisfied of this answer, and lets his arms fall to his sides from where they were crossed on his chest. 

“Great.”

Kun stands up, seeing that Yukhei is walking over to them, and brags both their coats. He leans on Doyoung’s shoulder and rests his head against his for a second or two, just enough affection to let him know, it’s alright. 

“So stop worrying, ok?”

“I’m not worried!”

Yukhei stops in front of him, all smile and breathless, happiness and sparkles in his eyes. He looks at Doyoung quickly before going back to Kun, grabbing his coat from him. 

“What is he worried about?”

“Didn’t you hear him? He’s not worried.” 

They both laugh at his friend’s complaint, before making sure his cousin and his friend will be nice with Doyoung. They bid them goodbye, walking out of the arcade with Yukhei. They decided to walk back to Kun’s apartment, making a little detour at the park not very far from there, just to have a moment to themselves in what Yukhei called ‘neutral grounds’. Somewhere between the arcade and the third red light, Kun grabs his hand and doesn’t let go, feeling amused at the new sensation of having his hand swallowed by Yukhei’s gigantic own. 

“How’s your birthday, so far?”

“Amazing! For real, I was really anxious before when I got my schedule and realised I wouldn’t be able to go back home for my birthday, but now I have the guys and I have you, so I’m really happy.” 

Kun laughs a little, feeling his heart warm up. “I have you” turns round and round in his head, making him feel a little dizzy, so he pulls on Yukhei’s hand a bit, making them walk faster. He doesn’t want to let everything out before they’ve reached his apartment. 

There, Yukhei makes himself at ease while he re-heats the food. Yukhei has insisted on watching cartoons while eating thai food (his usual favourite birthday food from his mom, apparently), so that’s what they do. They lay together on the couch, eating and joking and laughing until they can’t anymore, tears in their eyes and stomach hurting. Kun’s head feels so light he feels at least 5 years younger, and ten times bolder, so without thinking he lays Yukhei’s head on his lap and plays with his hair. He secretly loves his hair and has been praying he never cuts it, ever, at all. 

“Tired?”

“Not quite yet. I’m having too much fun with you.” 

“Me too,” Yukhei whispers, and it’s so obvious on his face that he means it. “Thank you, Kun.”

“Hm? What for?”

“Everything, actually. Also for today, but truly, everything you’ve done since we met, it’s just…”

“It’s fine, Yukhei, I do it because I love you.”

It just slips like this. It’s on his mind, and the next second it’s out in the world, falling into Yukhei’s ears and making its way to his own mind. He didn’t mean for it to be said like this, at this moment, but really, he’s not sure he could have thought of a better way. It’s true and sincere, which is what it really is, which is what Kun wants Yukhei to feel and understand. 

Yukhei, however, is so surprised he yelps, and then panics, so he straightens up a little too fast and ends up stabbing Kun in the eye with his finger. 

“Oh fuck, Kun, I’m so sorry! Are you fine? Does it hurt?”

“Yukhei, it’s fine,” Kun answers before laughing at Yukhei’s horrified face. He takes his hand off his eye and puts it on the boy’s head, reassuring him. “See? I’m alright.”

Yukhei pouts, curled into a ball on the couch so his hands don’t shoot up uninvited and hurt Kun again. Kun just laughs at endearing behaviour and bends to him to hug him tight. They stay like this a moment, watching TV still but not moving anymore. It’s the youngest that ends up breaking the embrace, turning to Kun to look at him properly.

“Is it true? What you said…”

“Hm? That I love you?”

“Y-yeah… that.” Yukhei’s face is torn between smiling and being embarrassed so he just smiles and blushes, eyes shining but not looking at him. 

“Yeah. I didn’t really mean to say it like this, but it’s true. Is it fine for you?”

“Fine?” Yukhei all but blurts out, looking so close to choking on his own breath that Kun almost stops him. “Is it fine? Do you hear yourself? Kun, what the hell, it’s more than fine. It’s… I’m… Dude, I can’t even believe it.”

“Why? You deserve to be loved,” and Kun immediately feels worried Yukhei isn’t feeling valid and loved enough. 

“No, yes, sure, I know alright? Don’t look at me with your parent eyes. It’s just… there’s a difference between knowing what I’m worth, and having someone like you falling for me.”

“And… what is someone like me?” 

Yukhei starts getting all jittery and fidgety, signs that he’s trying very hard to find the right words to get his point across. He’s been trying to use more Korean with them all, at first so Doyoung doesn’t feel too left out, but then mostly so Yukhei gets used to using it. This time, however, it’s too serious and important to take the risk of making mistakes, so he switches back to his mother tongue. 

“Look at yourself. You’re kind, you’re humble, you’re talented - don’t interrupt me, you are - you’re funny, you know how to handle things properly. You’re a proper adult, and you treat me like I am one too but still give me the space to be a child sometimes, to just vent and be silly. Most of all, you’re honest and you always show your feelings more than you say them, which makes you very attractive.”

Kun feels his whole heart beating faster, bursting into shards of heat at the same time, which doesn’t hurt but still makes him feel a little panicked for a second. There is someone, sitting in front of him, who he’s fallen in love with and who has spent enough time looking at him and listening to him to understand him entirely. There is someone who’s been trying to be less clumsy so he doesn’t have that many bruises on his body anymore. There is someone who gave him the chance to be himself completely and welcomed him as such, without putting the pressure of this whole soulmate things on his shoulders. 

Somehow, they haven’t been thinking about this much, deciding to give each other a chance to show who they are and fall for this. He understands, this exact second, that he’s fallen in love with Yukhei for real now. He already loved his soulmate, but he would have loved his soulmate no matter what, because that’s what he’s supposed to do, to feel. With Yukhei, however, he let himself forget that they’re bound, fated, and jumped right into it with his eyes closed, learning about this new person like he would have anyone else. 

And so did he. 

Yukhei, in all his glory and with all his maturity despite being younger, made the conscious decision of doing just the same, treating Kun as Qian Kun, the boy, and not His Soulmate. Not just this, at least. And it feels even better than he thought. And it feel overwhelming, too, more than realising they’re soulmates. 

Yukhei starts laughing out of the blue, and Kun doesn’t really know why but he can’t help laughing along, until Yukhei grabs his face between his hands and puts their foreheads one against the other. 

“I’m in love with you too. That’s what I tried to say.”

“Don’t worry, I got it,” Kun whispers, closing his eyes. He can smell his shampoo from here. 

“Is it fine to kiss you now?”

“Hm, hm. It is.”

“Great. Because I’ve been planning to ask you to kiss me as a birthday present.”

“Amazing idea,” Kun answers with a smile, feeling just a tad bit out of breath when Yukhei does kiss him. 

They kiss for a moment, neither of them really caring about time passing or the TV turning itself off. They just sit there, Yukhei all over him, kissing each other slowly and lovingly. It’s funny, because he hasn’t really been thinking about kissing him much, taking his sweet time falling for him, but now that he’s doing it he doesn't want to stop ever. No matter how much they kiss, he feels like stopping here won’t be enough, so he just keeps going. Kissing his lips, kissing his cheeks, kissing his nose, kissing his lips once again and getting lost in it. 

Until it’s enough, for a second, so they stop and look at each other as if they were new. And somehow, they are. 

“Hey,” Kun whispers, stroking his cheek. 

“Hey,” Yukhei answers with a smile, eyes almost closed because he’s just this happy. “Are you my boyfriend now, then?”

“I want to.”

“Good. I want you to be my boyfriend too.”

It’s a bit silly, but Kun doesn’t remember intimacy ever making him feel that good. 

“Oh, I also have an actual birthday present for you.”

“Really? With everything you’ve already done?”

“I have to spoil my boyfriend, don’t I?” he says as he gets up to go look for the present, and when he turns around, Yukhei is laying on the couch, hand clutching his chest, while his other arm is covering his eyes.

“Oh dude,  _ boyfriend.  _ Best. Birthday. Ever.”

“Stop that,” Kun whines, pushing him with his foot as he tries to sit back in the couch.

Yukhei moves just enough for him to sit, and then puts his head back on his lap as soon as he’s comfortable. He takes the small pouch Kun gives him and starts opening it. 

“Is that… a keyring? Why is there a key on it?”

“It’s… Wow, I’m not ready for this,” Kum mumbles, burying his face in his hands. “It’s the key to get into the building. I thought of the keyring the other day, because you keep losing them, and then Kunhang joked about giving you the key, and… here we are.”

“Really? You’re giving me the key?”

“Yeah? I don’t know, it doesn’t sound much like a good idea anymore, but that’s what I’m doing I suppose.”

“Are you kidding? It’s the best thing ever! Now I can come annoy you whenever I want!”

“And also not lose your keys.” 

“That too,” Yukhei says in a laugh, sheepish. He plays with the keyring for a moment, a small cat plushie that feels all soft under his fingers, before whispering, “Thank you.” 

“I’m happy you like it.”

“Dude, that’s the cutest shit anyone’s ever done for me.” 

“Do you plan on still calling me dude?”

“Ugh, yeah, it might slip sometimes.”

“Great,” Kun grunts, before bending a little and kissing Yukhei. 

* * *

  
  


It doesn’t matter much, he decides, that Yukhei still calls him dude from time to time, and sends him stupid memes by text randomly, and hits him on the back when laughing like he’s one of his  _ bros _ , because he stills tells him “I love you” and he still blushes when Kun kisses him goodbye when he drops him off at training and he still curls up in his arms when they fall asleep together. 

It doesn’t matter, because even when their dates are basically spending the day on the same couch with Yukhei playing video games while Kun has his head on his lap and reads a book, he still feels more in love than ever. 

It doesn’t matter. The form doesn’t matter, because deep inside, he’s fallen in love with his soulmate, and it’s just enough. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!!
> 
> [tumblr](https://umiwomitai.tumblr.com) [twt](https://twitter.com/_tildawn) [cc](https://curiouscat.me/umiwomitai)


End file.
